If a trees in forest were a metaphor for conflict symptoms, our attention could be easily taken by the impressive and dramatic nature of the big trees. The though the tall trees pushing against each other may appear to be where the problem is, when we consider and explore the entire ecology surrounding, we have a much better chance of understanding the bigger picture.

This is how it is with conflict as well. (Though we are unlike trees in that sometimes us humans need a little help to navigate the wild complexity of interrelating!)

 The presenting trees may be growing big and wild, but in our attempts to chop down these trees of trouble, we may miss the entire understory layer that is growing beneath, which is creating, feeding and giving life to the trouble trees. In the understory below, lie the human layers of perception, which a multi-faceted, process-based approach to conflict allows us to investigate, experience and transform our relating from a place of direct insight.

 Although therapeutic mediation doesn’t always follow a linear structure throughout, there are several phases involved in the process:

1. Intake consultation – one party will initiate the booking of an initial free consult to discuss with Prema about the conflict. Should there be a decision to go ahead with mediation, Prema will wish to chat separately to both parties, once a mediation is booked in. This will take the form of a phone call of around 20 minutes.

Discussing with both parties ensures that the conflict is heard about from both perspectives, and that both parties are full informed about the process and are able to participate willingly.

Participants will then be emailed further information about the process, including venue address and time, and will also be sent some optional reading resources to aid the process.

What might a mediation look like? Here is an rough outline to give you a sense of how a mediation can go – keeping in mind that all collectives of people are unique and the process may not always be linear and the same for each.

1.  THE MEDIATION: Setting the Stage.

• Co–creating communication agreements – creating a safe environment where all parties feel comfortable expressing themselves.
• Setting and sharing intentions – what brought us to mediation and what is it that we hope to achieve?
• Taking a moment of centring, grounding and connecting to inner resources to anchor us through potentially difficult moments

2. Exploring the conflict: Each participant takes turns to express their feelings/concerns/experiences of the conflict.

3. Identifying roles, feelings, reaction and inner parts : Helping participants recognize, unpack and articulate the different roles they are playing, and the various inner parts at play. This may take the form of working with one person at a time, to explore the hidden reasons behind their behaviour/reactivity – following and enquiring into the person’s individual process to gain insight.

4. Reflections, agreements, follow up; debriefing and reflections on what arose in the session, time to create agreements if desired, and identifying areas of further exploration and inner work.

 Exploring Perspectives: Encouraging individuals to step into different roles and perspectives, fostering empathy and understanding.

Addressing Somatic Signals: Paying attention to physical sensations and movements that can provide insights into the underlying dynamics of the conflict.

Identifying Inner Parts at Play: Recognizing the inner parts of us that are activated during the conflict, and understanding the dynamics between the two involved in the conflict. Facilitating communication from a place of “Self-leadership”, which promotes compassion, curiosity, and calmness.

Following the Process: Allowing the natural flow of events and interactions to guide the resolution process, rather than imposing external solutions.

What is therapeutic mediation?

Therapeutic mediation is a unique approach to conflict resolution that integrates principles of therapy and mediation to address the emotional and psychological aspects of disputes. Unlike traditional mediation, which focuses primarily on negotiating agreements and finding practical solutions, therapeutic mediation aims to create a deeper understanding of the underlying issues and dynamics that contribute to the conflict. This method is particularly effective in disputes where relationships and emotions are significantly involved, such as family conflicts, divorce, and interpersonal disputes.

By addressing the emotional roots of the conflict, therapeutic mediation can lead to more sustainable and meaningful resolutions, fostering long-term positive relationships.