Prema Nishan

Mediator

I know from experience how difficult and painful conflict can be to unpack, understand and move beyond without the right support. I also believe that each person – and each collective – holds the wisdom, the insight, the creative and empathic self that knows what is needed to move from defensiveness and self- protection into connection and relationship. While in conflict and nervous system trigger, it is not easy to access and act from that Self.

I bring my background in process-oriented psychology, art therapy and group facilitation to mediation work, along with a Masters of Conflict Management and Resolution. I have over 15 years of embodied movement training, as well as many years of personal experience working with various psycho-therapeutic modalities, including Internal Family Systems (IFS). I work with groups, offer process-based mediation and as well as conflict counselling sessions, appropriate where other parties involved in a conflict may be unwilling or unavailable to attend a conflict session.

I am a nationally accredited mediator with NMAS and a practising member of Resolution Institute.  I offer a multi-faceted, compassionate approach to help you turn conflict cycles into connection and sustaining relationship.

Please check out to my blog page for more about my approach.

Principles of UNDERSTORY Mediation

Therapeutic Mediation and Group Conflict Facilitation works with these elements:

Co-creating communication clear agreements and processes which support parties to communicate safely. Working with the nervous system and internal systems to anchor and enable working with challenging conversations and content.

Identifying Inner Parts at Play: Recognizing the inner parts of us that are activated during the conflict, and understanding the dynamics between the two involved in the conflict. Facilitating communication from a place of “Self-leadership”, which promotes compassion, curiosity, and connection.

– Arnold Mindell, founder Process-oriented Psychology

What is Therapeutic Mediation?

Therapeutic mediation is a unique approach to conflict resolution that integrates principles of therapy and mediation to address the emotional and psychological aspects of disputes. Unlike traditional mediation, which focuses primarily on negotiating agreements and finding practical solutions, therapeutic mediation aims to create a deeper understanding of the underlying issues and dynamics that contribute to the conflict. This method is particularly effective in disputes where emotions are significantly involved and ongoing relationship is highly valued.

By addressing the emotional roots of the conflict, therapeutic mediation can lead to more sustainable and meaningful resolutions, fostering long-term positive relationships.

Deep Democracy, the underlying principle of Process-oriented Psychology, is the practice of listening to all elements within a process. It addresses the entire field of a conflict. It considers issues of rank, and power. It looks at hidden messages and double signals, watches for any ghosts (hidden and unexpressed roles) lurking in the space who may want to say something. It looks at attachment styles, at past trauma, at values, shame, denied aspects of self. It considers neurodivergent ways of being and expressing. It is inclusive of all emotion, story, conflict styles and levels of comfort with self-expression. It looks at the environment in which the conflict grew, and works with the process as it unfolds. The inherent chaos within conflict is valued, and heartfulness and awareness is employed to help us sit in conflict fire without being damaged by that fire. A forest can instead be brought to new life by a good hearty fire.

In the “understory” below a conflict, lie the human layers of perception, unmet needs, projection, inner parts, values, culture and identity clashes, denied aspects of self, conflicting attachment styles, wounds and traumas; basically feeling unsafe to work with conflict – all of which can be intermingled elements lurking hazardously beneath a conflict. Hidden and unseen elements can sabotage our relationships without us being aware of them.

A multi-faceted approach can pull these elements apart, separate and explore them safely, so that they may be seen, heard and understood. Process-based conflict work attempts to safely make the unconscious conscious, through various methods of process, like role play, role reversal, indirect address, movement, art, play and sound where appropriate. All parties involved a conflict co-create a suitable conflict process to explore their inner conflict terrain, to find a safe space to break down and make sense of what is happening, at multiple levels, and then make empowered agreements, based on renewed understanding and empowered relating.

Please note: In-person sessions are the optimal and preferred way to work with conflict, due to the increased sense of connection and capacity for mobile interaction that in person work offers. However, in cases where mediation and conflict counselling is simply not possible to do in person, for example if people live in different localities, or are physically unwell, online mediation can be a suitable alternative to in-person work. Please contact me for further consultation.